why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
