We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize