you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
