why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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