he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
