Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
