sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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