The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
cat food counts as protein by the way
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
