I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
