It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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