I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
