There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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