Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
