so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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