Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
