I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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