Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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