He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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