I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
