: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
