Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
