i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
