Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I AM VODKA MAN
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
