booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
