I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize