HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
