I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can I color on your dick again?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
