OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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