You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
