why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
