good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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