i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
