I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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