He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Who died my cat blue again?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
