She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
