I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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