I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
