You're completely useless in the revolution.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
