Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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