we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
