I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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