a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My pussy is not your playground.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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