how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
