My boss' voice literally gives me gas
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
