Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
