Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
