U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
