Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
