'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
50% drunk capacity currently
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
