I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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