K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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