i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
