It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
