i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
