My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize