Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
