Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
