Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
