The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize