The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
