She said her name was "party"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
