Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
