my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
