so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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