You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
