they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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