i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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