Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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