I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize