im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
