Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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